The Derby Vortex

Not long after I discovered roller derby in my small town, and realized it was all over the planet, I began a rollercoaster ride that is “The Derby Vortex”. 
This was actually pointed out to me by a good friend one day when I suggested the potential  of shaving part of my head (along with many other erratic and random decisions fueled by my newest obsession), he warned, “watch out, you are getting sucked into the derby vortex”…

Well clearly he didn’t have anything to do with derby, but I had to admit, he was on to something…

To sort of describe why and what the Derby Vortex is, in my opinion, here are the first clanks up the track of my extreme and interesting ride thus far…

Step One: Realizing there was a sport out there that gratified every aspect of who I was…. hardcore competitiveness mixed with extreme physical challenges sprinkled with awesome music, piercings tattoos and ROLLERSKATES!

Step Two: Re-evaluating why I gave up all the things I enjoyed over the years…oh yes…school…job interviews…dress codes…tuition bills…  At one time I even attempted to fulfill my desire for sports by joining a beer league baseball team…which was far more competitive than you might think….but after being forced to  tape up all my piercings year after year,  I decided to take them all out, and thus, in my heart…the last pieces of my former self.

Step Three: JOINING DERBY…and learning that I could do whatever the hell I wanted!  I am an adult.  I can wear fishnets to a practice…or to the grocery store…I can have a beer on a weekday (or pitcher), and spend all my hard-earned savings on custom derby gear, derby bootcamps, and supporting all my favorite derby teams (via drinking more beer and potentially singing a karaoke song or two).  Derby doesn’t consider it a danger to myself or others if I have a nose ring, and also doesn’t frown disapprovingly when I spend my Tuesday nights intoxicated with all my favorite people.  NICE.

As I have been swept further and further down this vortex, I have found greater and greater happiness in my life.  It is EXCITING, and the people who allow themselves to get swept away with me, they are all the most incredible and best people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. 

As I have stated in previous posts, I enjoy my alone time, and stress out about meeting new people…I’m a self-confessed shy, awkward, loser.  However, there are many people in my short derby career who have made the effort to get to know this pointy eye-browed midget (and also hold a pre-birthday celebration recently, complete with cupcakes, wine and PRESENTS)…and for them…I have conjured up the following…Ahem:

“You guys might not know this but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one (wo)man wolf pack. But when I started derby with Maul E. Mayhem, and we put on our skates, and met Pink and Pohlverine, I knew ya’ll were one of my own.   And my wolf pack, it grew by four.
So there… there was four of us in the wolf pack.
I was alone first in the pack and Maul E, Pink and Pohlverine joined in later. And over the years, when derby introduced me to the rest of you guys, Doobie, Wry ‘N’ Ginger, Steddie, Devlin…I thought “wait a second, could it be?”
And now I know for sure…
I just added a bunch more skaters to my wolf pack. All of us wolves, skating around the streets together, looking for strippers and cocaine…”


So for all you derbyists out there in the world, forming wolf packs and life time relationships and becoming the most bad ass versions of yourselves possible, this blogs’ for you!

❤ you guys!! LOVE Derby! ox

Graphic courtesy of Wry’N’Ginger, fellow wolf pack member and blogger extraordinaire:


4 thoughts on “The Derby Vortex

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