Rule #1 – Cardio

Since this apparently is the last year of humanity, I’m going to touch on a few of my own personal theories about the end of the world…as we know it.

Personally, I have always been a believer that the end of the world is a lot closer than most of us want to imagine.  It doesn’t help that many of my close friends also encourage this conviction, insisting that the “revolution is near” and we better learn how to shoot guns and filter our own water before we’re done for.

Sure, this may sound a little “crazy” to some of you, but I have a feeling many readers out there are supporters of at least one of the following theories of how it’s all coming to an end:

  1. A massive rebellion by the “have nots’ of the world, which will somewhat resemble the Occupation movements but on a much larger scale, resulting in complete chaos and first death to the upper class, but once resources are scarce and the ignorant become drunk with power…more death…DEATH…
  2. An incurable plague will spread rapidly across the planet wiping out most of the population; those who can afford it will hide out in bunkers until they are forced out to forge for food and supplies and then discovered by the few remaining survivors…resulting in death…DEATH…
  3.  … Zombie apocalypse.

I have to say that I’m most committed to the last theory, and so, I have decided to share what I feel are some very important rules to live by (some inspired by the film Zombieland, of which if you have not seen…stop everything and please watch, then come back and we’ll talk).  Some rules are common sense, sure, and will be considered the most basic of survival skills, but others should be considered important due to the fact that no matter which of the above outcomes that may occur (or even the world does continue to keep turning into 2013), certain talents and abilities will come in handy in many different situations…for example: surviving an infestation of the flesh-eating undead – or – playing a kick ass game of derby.

And so here we go…

For all of the above scenarios, conjured up by my wicked and morbid imagination, cardio always remains extremely important.  Whether you are running from brain thirsty corpses or chasing after elite socialites with access to private jets and secret hideouts, being fast and having endurance pays off.

This also can be said for playing derby.

Whether you want to be a pivot, a jammer, a blocker, or a triple threat, you gotta be able keep up with the pack.  Of all the sports I’ve played in my life, derby demands the most in terms of endurance.  You are playing in shifts that can be under 2 minutes long, but you are going balls to the wall for that shift, and once you are off, you have to be able to recuperate and be ready to back and do it again.

The only way to get better, and feel better, is to work on your cardio.  There are a lot of ways to do this (run/walk/swim/bike), but I highly recommend running.  Why?  Well this form of exercise is the most practical skill to work at – and get better at.

How many times in your life have you needed to run away from something and jumped onto an elliptical?  It isn’t often you get chased down by Zombies on a ‘Stairclimber’.

Absolutely.  For sure.  Mixing up your routine and keeping things interesting is always good.  And if you aren’t going to go to the gym or work out unless you can jump on a mini-trampoline…then jump away.  BUT running is something our bodies were designed to do.  Also, running is FREE.  And finally, running will improve every aspect of your life – including your survival potential and kick assness on the track.

So get out there, run run run, jump over curbs and bike racks and pretend your hurdling yourself over the devoured remains of your fellow man, and if the rumours are true…just know…that you… will.. SURVIVE!

…to be continued….

Photo courtesy of Wry’N’Ginger, fellow blogger and derby lover, check her out at


One thought on “Rule #1 – Cardio

  1. blackwatertown says:

    Thank you – you have tipped the scales in favour of running motivation. Eat my dust zombies (instead of my flesh).

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