As cliché as it is, as we prepare to adjust how we date our cheques, advertise the titles of our events and reorganize our team forums, one cannot help but want to re-evaluate the passing year and wonder…should I be doing something different?
Usually we look inwards and decide we need to do something better…improve ourselves in some way. Sure, I should eat better, maybe do a little more housework, read something other than the guide on my TV, maybe go to bed earlier, get up earlier… try not gliding into work literally 30 seconds before I would officially be late…every… single… day…
If we are going to take this route, well, there are a billion things I could improve on (as you can see from the short list easily compiled above), but who wants to start of another year with a list of ‘to dos’?
I don’t want to wake up on January 1st and realize I have to get crackin’! This is the problem with the whole resolution thing…or least the way I have been doing it.
So this time I’m going to do things differently….start examining the things I need to do less of…things I can subtract from my life…seems a lot less stressful.
For example…I resolve to care less that my clothes will never be hung up all at the same time. It’s just something that is never going to happen, there will always be a pile on the closet floor…and I need to accept this.
On the clothes topic, I will never have enough space for all my derby attire. For some reason in the first 7 months of derby I felt it necessary to buy an insane amount of tights, socks, fishnets, socks, leg warmers…and more socks. I absolutely have no space for these items now and need to accept this as well. They shall also stay sprawled all over the guest room…that I now dub, “the derby room”.
On the theme of acceptance and caring less…I’ve also decided to care less about all the things I can’t control, including people. Did you know you can’t control people? Yeah, I know right?! It took me awhile to learn this, but now that I have, I’ve realized that since I can’t control what they think or how they react or how they perceive me, then I need to just not care!
Finally, I’m vowing for the year of 2012 to be less of an asshole. Maybe asshole is a bit strong, but I can’t really come up with anything better and since I don’t care that much anymore what people think…asshole it is!
The reason I say this is because in the world of derby, just as in any sport (but especially derby), you are definitely challenged in terms of being around a lot of different personalities that you may not have necessarily chosen to be around, had it not been for derby.
As I’ve mentioned in previous writings, my non-derby self prefers the company of a very small number…some may even refer to me as a lone wolf at times. I enjoy my “me time”, my “quiet time”, and quite frankly, social gatherings give me heartburn.
However, I’ve been thrust into (or perhaps I’ve jumped into) a world where meeting new people is a huge part of the package, as well as working with and playing with all kinds of interesting and “strong” personalities.
For awhile, my defence mechanism when conflict arose (which, let’s be honest, is also quite common amongst all of us derby lunatics), was basically, “hey, I suck at socializing, I hate people, this is me, deal with it”…
Well, a wise man once said, “Sure you can say – this is me, this is how I am…but…if who you are is an Asshole…you might want to think about changing who you are…a bit”.
Hmmm…well said my scraggly bearded cigar smoking friend…well said.
So my final resolution will to be less of an asshole. Change is good, and at times it’s necessary, and being a lone wolf in the world of derby does not quite work. Besides, the people that have clawed and wormed their way into my heart are pretty fucking amazing human beings…so if I perhaps did a little less worrying about how awkward I feel, or how uncomfortable I might feel if this happens or that happens… and just let it happen…more amazing things would happen! Genius!
This is just a theory.
So feel free to join me this year and do a lot less, instead of trying to do more, and let’s turn this resolution thing on it’s head! Viva el revolucion de los resoluciones!!