FYI – You Saved Your Own Soul

Well it has been over a year since I began this blog and though I don’t have many entries, the ones that I have written reflect a lot of what I experienced in my first real season of roller derby.

From discovering the sport to where I am now, I have moved, started a new job, and met some truly incredible people.  I am so happy with the life I have created for myself, however, due to some of the radical changes in the past year many have asked, and I have occasionally wondered, “Where do you think you’d be if you had never played Roller Derby”. 

It’s interesting because there is a definite correlation between the time I joined this sport and all if the huge life changes I have undergone.  Because of this, many people have attributed roller derby as being the reason why my life has somewhat “turned a page”.

I don’t agree with this.

My thought process is as follows:

Life is full of choices.  Whether we see them as big (marriage, kids, careers) or small (chicken for dinner….or fish?), we have no idea how huge or small the impact on our lives these decisions will actually have.

We often like to believe that our lives are like one of those “choose your own endings” novels (loooooooved those Goosebumps books by the way), where, if you pick option A you will end up here, but if you choose option B, you’ll end up somewhere completely different…or dead.  This concept leads us to imagine that no matter what option we chose, there is some parallel universe where another version of ourselves is off living a completely different life because we chose option C instead.

I don’t believe that. 

This is it my friends. This is your life.  There is no dry-run, or rehearsal, you have one shot to cram as much awesome into one lifetime as possible.

We can never know for certain which decisions in our lives are going to be the “big ones”.  For example, a friend sets you up on a blind date.  You put all this weight on to going or not going…like the fate of your life depends on this decision.  You think, “if I don’t go I could be passing up on the love of my life, but if I do go, I could be traumatized forever by some sketchy looking individual who confesses to practicing their own version of taxidermy in their basement.  I will never find love if I don’t embrace these types of opportunities, but if I do take the risk, I might be murdered by a crazy person”.

Then when dinner comes along you have to make the choice of chicken or fish.  What importance does this have in the outcome of your life?  Not much, so you flippantly chose chicken…which leads to Salmonellosis, hospitalization, AND the introduction to the doctor of your dreams…BAM! The chicken decision is actaully what led you to true and everlasting love. 

So there!

When I made the choice to call up my best friend and say, “Hey, did you know there is Roller Derby happening in Chilliwack?  Just so you know, we are doing this”.  I definitely didn’t think it was a life changing decision.  And I still do not think it is the reason my life has changed so much.  Many more choices presented themselves following this event, and many more flippant or deeply considered decisions were made.

I really don’t believe there is any other version of how my life would have or should have played out.  I made that choice to join Roller Derby because my heart SCREAMED, “DO THIS, DO THIS, YOU MUST DO THIS” and the events that followed were due to that continued willingness to listen to my heart.

You can’t say, “well if I didn’t make that call, order that gear, and go to that first recruitment I would have  NEVER done this or that ”. 

Who knows?  If I hadn’t met up with Maul E. Mayhem that day to measure our feet, it doesn’t mean I never would have moved or quit my job or made new friends…it could have very well meant that I might have left work that day and been attacked by a family of rabid raccoons….or two months later hit by a bus full of rabid raccoons. 

Nobody has a fucking clue what is going to happen next.  Maybe I would have joined roller derby a year from now, or 5 years from now or, (GASP) never.  Maybe I would have started competing in marathons or become an aggressive slo-pitch back catcher, or a competitive yogi.

The thing is… I have always been an extremely competitive and driven person.  I have always played sports and enjoyed the pressure to perform and push myself to my limits.  I have always wanted to express myself and swim against the current of the mainstream.

Roller derby hasn’t “changed me” or “made me” any different or better or worse.  It is simply a thing that I do right now. 

The new job, the new hometown, the new friends, the new love in my life….these are all things that transpired, not because of roller skates and elbow pads, but because I was ready to welcome them into my existence.  I reached a point in my life, a fork in the road, in which I started making decisions for me. 

I think we all give a lot more credit to Roller Derby than we do to ourselves.  How many of you have claimed that “derby saved your soul”.  I know I have.  But people, WE have saved our OWN souls. 

Joining a full contact sport, even though you have 3 kids at home, a full-time job, and 4 dogs, 3 cats and a rabbit…that’s alllllll you! 

Dedicating hours upon hours of your precious and limited free time to be on a board of directors, or assist in training, or fundraising or merch design….that is YOU kicking ass and making sure your dream is successful and sustainable….that’s not Roller Derby. 

Signing up for Yoga, or Kick-boxing, or finally getting that tattoo you always wanted, or piercing your nose, or dying your hair blue, or wearing a sleeveless top, or hot pants, or fishnets, or a cape and a tutu…. That is YOU deciding that what YOU want to do/wear/eat/live IS IMPORTANT.

Deciding to open your heart to amazing women and men that inspire you and challenge you and provide unending love and support and positivity in your life…. YOU found that. 

So how about we stop wondering what we would have ever done if we had never decided to pull on a pair of roller skates, and start patting ourselves on the back for realizing that we are important, strong, independent and exceptional beings that deserve to be cheered for and supported and happy and healthy.

So……

Live your life.  Chase dreams.  Never wonder.  Just do.  And enjoy.

That is my recipe for a very happy 2013.

ox

Thank you Jeff Tichbourne for the topic suggestion.

I’m Not Broken! ….But Definitely Broke.

Now that I’m back skating (no-contact, but skating), I’m not going to preach anymore about cross-training or listening to your body or what it’s like to be in recovery or out of recovery or off-skates vs on-skates vs whatEVER.

I wrote that, you read that.  Injuries suck.  Being broken sucks.   Moving on.

Now that I’m not currently “broken”, I’ve realized I’m just simply “broke”.

Season 2013 is coming up and I’m looking forward to preparing for it and competing and training and attending boot camps and scrimmages and travelling for tournaments and joining a gym and saving for Rollercon…but also realizing…I…am…broke.

So very fucking broke.

I am, what the derbyists would refer to as (or maybe just me), “derby poor”.

And don’t get me wrong, I was never once “rich” or even financially sound, but I definitely expected at this point in my life to be accumulating some sort of savings.

Why am I so broke?  Well, let’s take a trip down Evada Peron’s work history memory lane…

My first years of employment involved working a series of menial positions including an icecream scooper at the local mall and a “fry girl” at a concession stand by the beach.   Needless to say I was not raking in the dough, but my goal at the time was to save enough for a years’ worth of travel to South America after high school, which I successfully accomplished.

Following highschool and my trip, I once again had no money.  I enrolled in university and landed a job as a janitor/ice patroller (yes this is a job) and managed to scrape enough cash every month to get through almost 7 years of post-secondary education, but also successfully remained extremely poor.

PLUS: I was able finish up school without debt…

MINUS: I still had no money.

During my university years I was perpetually broke, but everyone promised me the “investment” I was making into my education would someday pay off.  I was made to believe that someday I wouldn’t have to live off canned soup and jars of peanut butter and if something unexpected happened (like a punk kid smashing the passenger window of my poor ’98 civic) it wouldn’t drive me into financial ruin.

So in 2011, after I finally finish school and found myself  an awesome, amazing, well-paying office gig, I thought,  ”Time to start saving!”

I finished paying off my bucket of bolts car (second hand from my mother…it wasn’t reliable enough to go 20km away from my house, but who needs to travel that far anyways…right?) and didn’t have any other looming bills to worry about….

Enter derby.

Suddenly all the paychecks that were coming in, that were supposed to be going towards some responsible and sensible savings account, were disappearing pretty ‘effing fast.

Well, I needed a fresh meat package when I first joined up….it was an investment into my derby future…and then I needed to purchase every pair of derby socks, leg warmers or fishnets within eyesight, then of course  upgrade my knee pads, and my wheels, and my then my skates…and then my skates again, and then my trucks, and then get even more efficient protective gear, and then pay to go on road trips, and boot camps, and then naturally buy a brand new reliable car to get me to these far off places, and then of course I needed every derby t-shirt and pair shorts and attend as many bouts as possible and then… blah blah blah = derby poor.

At this point I’ve simply decided:

I don’t live to work, or work to live.  I work to derby.  That’s about it.

I’m broke…but at least I’m not broken!

Ah well.

 

SPORTS!

Cross-training…duh.

Following my post about motivation, it seems perfect that I have suffered an injury lately.  How does that seem perfect?  Well, let me explain:

My motivation post was focused on not only skating but cross-training.  Getting up and going for a run, or swim or yoga class or anything OTHER than skating.  This is important because moving and exercising your body and mind in different ways helps to keep you on top of your game and prevents injuries. 

Since I have recently been suffering from a lack of motivation to get out and cross-train, I am now paying the price.

During the on-skates warm-up at practice a few weeks ago I was skating along in a pace line with my team mates when suddenly I felt this sort of “twang” in my lower back.  There was no ‘out of the ordinary’ movement… I didn’t fall, nobody hit me…I was just skating along, trying to keep proper form and “TWANG”, something weird happened.

The best way I can describe it as if my spine were the fingerboard of a guitar and suddenly one of the guitar strings just snapped, and went curling downwards, from my lower back right into the bottom of my left foot.

Being one to preach but never follow my own sermon, I continued to skate that practice, occasionally making comments to my team mates about how “weird” my back had felt, and that my left leg was sore.  FACEPALM.

Listen to your bodies’ people! When weird shit happens: STOP MOVING and START ICING.

Anyways, not only did I finish that practice, but I went home and did my evening sit-ups and push-ups and kept up my usual activities for another 7 days.   When I realized the pain in my leg wasn’t going anywhere I thought, hmmmm, maybe NOW I should have it checked out….and yep, I was in rough shape.

Apparently I have a herniated disc.  Treatment involves no physical activity which may result in moving, twisting, or bending at my lower back.  So at the moment, there are a lot of things I can’t do…including skate.  Treatment also involves patience and accountability (both being huge weaknesses for me in regards to my body).

On the positive side, I am learning about what I CAN do (swimming, planks, push-ups are still okay) and may have to be more creative in what I do right now to stay in shape.  Talking to other skaters and athletes who have experienced similar injuries has also been extremely beneficial in terms of providing me with ideas to keep me active as well helping me remain positive that I’ll be back skating sooner than later.

I know I wrote something similar to this post about 4 or 5 months ago when I injured myself during a bout and decided to ignore the pain in favor of continuing to skate.  Please learn from me (and make this at least somewhat worthwhile, as I seem to never learn) and listen to yourselves.  Cross-training is so important because injuries like mine can result from doing repetitive movements/exercises, such as skating low and just trying to maintain proper form at practice.  Roller Derby isn’t easy on your body, and you need to exercise and strengthen all the different muscles involved (especially the core!) or eventually the poor guys might just give out (sorry Mr. Spine…my bad).

Hopefully I’m back on skates soon, but in the meantime, I am approaching this injury as another friendly reminder that cross training is crucial, as is listening to your body (especially when it yells at you in the forms of cracks/snaps/groans and twangs).

Blarg.

 

Let the Sk8r’s be your Motivators..

Motivation is a tricky beast.

At times you can feel like you are unstoppable and there is nowhere else to go but up, and then all of a sudden you’re trapped on your couch eating bonbons and watching the entire collection of the “Real Housewives’”, including the “lost footage” and reunion shows (trust me, I get it).

I’ve spent many mornings driving to work and scoffing at those dedicated and committed assholes jogging on the sidewalks or standing at street corners with a yoga mat slung over their shoulder… who do they think they are?  Don’t they have jobs? Don’t they have houses to clean, and dinners to cook and groceries to shop for and dogs to bathe and laundry to wash and a billion OTHER things to do OTHER than work out?

I know I do.  But somehow, every once and awhile, I can go on 6 month stints doing all of the above listed chores, as well as fit in time to exercise and be in tip top physical form.  Then the wagon hits a catastrophic speed bump, and bam, I’ve jumped off and found myself landing back on that damn…comfy…reliable…couch.

The thing is…if you don’t want to do it, you can easily find a million and one reasons why you shouldn’t or ‘can’t’….

For example: It’s too dark, too cold, too expensive, it’s been too long, you need new runners, you need new water bottle, you need a new scale…and so on and so forth.

But then, when you want it, there is no stopping you.

I don’t think taking time off and setting up camp in front of your television screen is a terrible thing, as long there is an exit strategy at some point.

My crash and burns can only last for a certain amount of time before I am practically clawing at the door to get out of the house and back into a sweaty, huffing and puffing exercising machine.

So what is the secret to maintaining motivation and sticking with it? As an athlete, and being part of a sports team, it helps to have expectations.  I do well when I know there is a bit of pressure and I know my team mates and coach expect me to be training for the goals we have committed to.

If you aren’t into team sports, many people have found that being committed to a gym membership or finding a workout partner help get keep motivated and provide that level of expectation.  You can even try telling friends your work out plan, or writing it down and putting it on your fridge or bedroom wall to help remind you what your goals are and keep you accountable for them.

HOWEVER, at the end of the day, the following statement still remains gospel in my opinion:

When you want it, there is no stopping you.

I’ve tried workout partners, and bailed on them.  I’ve had gym memberships and cancelled them.  I’ve tried everything short of publicly announcing my scheduled workouts as Facebook status updates in order to have some sort of accountability when I end up back on the couch…but honestly, the only thing that has ever gotten me into my running shoes and out the door is my own deep and true desire to better, faster, stronger.

Until you want it more than a clean house, a third nap, a pack of bacon or round of Tetris, you will not be successful.

Jus’ sayin.

So good luck my friends.  I’m off to do some push-ups.  I SWEAR!

Rule #4 – Seat Belts

Alright, alright….so it’s been quite a while since my last blog entry. First I must clarify that over the past few months I have tried to write.  Many times I sat in front of a computer and tried to write something…ANYTHING… however, nothing ever came to fruition, and I pretty much spent a good portion of my time staring at a blank screen, watching the little dash blink mockingly at the top left hand corner…

However, today I have decided it’s going to happen.  I’m sick of feeling ‘lost for words’.

To jump right into readily available clichés, I have decided to take the route of the roller coaster analogy.  However, to spice it up a bit, I’d like to throw in that though there were seatbelts available on this said coaster, I convinced myself that I didn’t need one, and so, rather than remaining properly seated in a secure position with an enjoyable vantage point on the topsy twirly ride, I found myself flying unprepared, into the air and consequently clinging to a plank of wood on the back seat of the last car, dangling…

with only one hand,

and maybe 3 fingers….

gripping for dear life,

flinging around

like one of those

wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men,

trying to hang-on until it was over,

but without any idea of how that would be humanly possible.

Dramatic enough for you?

Well that’s how the last few months have felt.

However, in this moment, it appears the ride seems to have hit one of those nice, relaxing, slow moving sections and so I’ve been able to climb back into my seat (yay!), take a deep breath, and soak in some amazing scenery as I re-evaluate how I want to continue.

Hence, Zombie Apocalypse Rule #4 – Seatbelts (stay with me, I promise it will allllll make sense)

In life, and in derby, it is important to take care of yourself and utilize any opportunities to protect yourself from unnecessary risk.  I refer to these precautions as: Seatbelts.

In the literal sense, if there is a seatbelt available or encouraged on any type of moving vehicle or apparatus that you are operating or co-piloting, I would suggest you should wear it.  Reasons for this include the possibility of let’s say….a deer darting in front of your car during a late night drive down an abandoned highway….(very plausible)…. and perhaps you steer into a ditch to avoid the deer but end up running into the side of a mountain with your tin can of a car…looking back, wearing seatbelt would have probably been a good choice.

OR there is always the potential risk of the impending Zombie Apocalypse arriving unexpectedly on a Tuesday evening while you are driving home from a late night at the office and a flesh eating walker suddenly rises from the backseat of your car, in which you must immediately drive into a telephone pole to dispose of him before he has a chance to dispose of you (at least that would be my plan).

Again, I’m sure you’d rather find yourself buckled securely into your seat (with potential airbags), than being tossed face first through a sheet of glass with your brains splayed all over the hood of the car (aka: Zombie buffet).  Just sayin’.

Now the fun part….metaphors…OooOOooo.

In the world of Derby, seatbelts can be interpreted as not only your protective gear (which should be properly used, maintained and replaced when you can no longer wash the stench- similar to that of the brain consuming undead) but also your fellow players and coaches.

In making sure you securely fasten your focus when you are at practice or on the track, as well as being locked in to the actions and strategies of your fellow teammates, you increase your chances of surviving a jam without penalties or injury (winning!) and decrease significantly the risk of upsetting your fellow skaters and coach by ignoring the overall goals of the jam (boo).

In the world outside of Derby (does this exist?!), real life seatbelts reveal themselves as your friends, family and those special people who act as airbags and anti-lock brake systems when things in your life start to go awry. Over the last while I realized that I had somewhat neglected many of my life seatbelts (and therefore found myself flailing “Mission Impossible” style from the back of my metaphoric roller coaster).

How did it happen?

Well, we all know the Roller Derby community is a beautiful thing.  You can travel to pretty much all ends of the earth and find a fellow skater willing to welcome a complete stranger into their home, without even requiring their ‘real name’, based on the verbal agreement that they are a completely trustworthy and a rad human being because they also love/play/coach/NSO/ or participate in Roller Derby.  This social circle is a very exciting one, full of diverse and interesting people who will quickly take over your Facebook, personal calendar and list of favorite topics to discuss with anyone at any time.

Sure, derby folk are great life seatbelts too, as no doubt they are exceptionally wonderful people in your life, however, this doesn’t mean you completely abandon all those who had been around, protecting you in your life pre-derby existence.  When I first started skating,  those pre-derby people were the first faces I recognized at my very first scrimmages, and later on my very first bouts.  They were the ones cheering for me as I skated repeatedly over to the penalty box, and nodded blankly and agreed as I described later on at the after party how those penalties were totally not my fault (they never are).

However, as I became more and more enamored by the sport and started making real life changes in order to further pursue it, I unfortunately became extremely defensive of anyone who questioned my actions or didn’t fully understand the passion.  Rather than appreciate the security of those who knew me the best, I felt I was better off jumping on this wild ride without any previous attachments, believing I could do just fine being my own seatbelt.

A few quick jolts right and left and one loopdy-loop later, I found myself in the similar position of that unfortunate lady rock climber from the opening scene of Cliff Hanger, left dangling with no safety harness, looking up from the black hole beneath me and sheepishly squeaking out a word I have always found extremely difficult to ever express… “help”.

Luckily, unlike Sly’s character in that flick, the seatbelts in my life have continually pulled through for me and managed to keep me alive.  Even though at times my stubbornness has prevented me from utilizing these seatbelts when I needed them most, they’ve waited paitently to be seen as the valuable lifelines that they are, and in the end prevented me from flailing uselessly into an abyss or even wore, fully splatting at rock bottom.

So why haven’t I written for the last while?  I think I can conclude that perhaps I was a little..’burnt out’ (HORRIFIC GASP).  Yes, I once also refused to believe it was possible to be burnt out from a sport that is so completely fucking awesome that I would take a bullet for it (i’m pretty sure I would?), however, now I accept that it is very much something that can happen.

This is why you need a balance of all the seatbelts life has to offer.  Whether they come in literal form, or in derby form, or in a saftey manual form (hardhats people!), or family form, or destination form, or so on and so forth….there are many people, places and things in this world that are put in place to love and protect you and keep you SANE.  It would only make sense that if you completely cut out one section….things start to get a little…unbalanced.

And so I dedicate this blog to those in my life (you know who you are) who came to that first bout, raised a pitcher of beer at the first pub night fundraiser, bought my team’s first merchandise items (at full price), “liked” my first fancy derby picture on Facebook and continually support me on this crazy ride.

In short, Rule #4 – Seatbelts

As a future survivor of the impending zombie apocalypse (or at least somebody who will survive for a bit longer than others) = wear the seatbelt.

As a skater of Roller Derby = be aware of your seatbelts.

As a human being, first and foremost = thank your seatbelts.

Graphic courtesy of fellow blogger Wry’N'Ginger, or aka: My fav Ginger Zombie Ox

Rule #32 – Enjoy the Little Things

Buenos días Camaradas! I’ve been revived from a semi-comatose zombie state and have returned back to my angry and excitable old self.   After a long (felt like decades) and unplanned hiatus from derby life due to health issues (concussions/emergency surgeries/temporary insanity) I have a new respect for the magic of medicine, the power of healing, and an even bigger appreciation for all the “little things” I enjoy so much about my life.

Whether you are held hostage in a recliner chair due to an injury, or living a life in constant fear while on the run from brain feasting soulless corpses that will undoubtedly take over the earth – I believe it is very important to stop and find some iota of joy and appreciation for the simple things in life.  We never know what tomorrow will bring.

We all have this blissful presumption that everyone lives for at least a century and that we have so much time to put off the things we ‘want to do’ the things we ‘enjoy’ because we have to lay the ground work first, put in our years of toil, before we can sit back and truly enjoy ourselves.

I’m just gonna put it out there:

A very large and fast bus could be headed in your direction at any time.

Don’t plan on living forever, because as far as I can tell, nobody has accomplished that…yet.  Just plan on living now.

If you want to be selfish, if you want to quit your job, move, sell all your belongings, ESCAPE from something or somewhere, fucking do that shit ASAP.

I know, it can be proven quite difficult in today’s society, as we are constantly compelled to define our worth and contribution to the universe by dollar amounts and the amount of ‘stuff’ we have accumulated.  In turn, our material success is supposed to be what brings us said joy and happiness.

Some of us become so entrapped in this way of thinking that we criticize others for perhaps not valuing the same beliefs and standards.  Over the last month, as I sat trapped between couch cushions – unable to get up on my own, let alone strap on a pair of roller skates – the words of those judgmental characters in my life rang in my ears, and I had time to consider my devotion to a sport that’s lifespan can be fairly unpredictable.

Sure, I can understand why some people may feel that my priorities are all out of whack.  That I sacrifice too much for something that isn’t permanent, that doesn’t make me any money, and is completely dependent on extremely undependable factors.

And though I don’t consider Roller Derby a “little thing” in my life, it definitely tends to fall into that category for others.  I’m not sure if you have been faced with this question on repeat since you joined the sport, but I definitely have:

“What if you couldn’t skate anymore, is it all worth it?”

Some feel I have disbanded much of my important life responsibilities or pathways in the pursuit of derbyness.  What used to be my main focuses have now been left on the back-burner to ruminate and stew.  Personally, I feel there is no better place for these topics to rest until I find a desire to revisit them again.

Many of the opinionated observers of my life have failed to note that it is not just the sport of derby that has uprooted me from the underbelly of small town and encouraged me to transplant to the underbelly of the ‘big city’ (along with many other bigger and smaller life changes), but so much more.

Skating, at this moment in time, is pretty close to being everything to me, but I also know there are so many other “little things” that it has brought to my life.  I enjoy breathing in ocean air, seeing how high I can fly a kite on a pebbled beach littered with empty hermit crab shells and driftwood, drinking beers with people I admire and aspire to be, chatting passionately about what I’m doing to people who care to listen, and sharing meals with team mates and ‘sister-wives’ who were somehow separated from me at birth.

I enjoy grinning ear to ear a few times a week due to the massive rush of endorphins forced onto me from cross-training and giggle daily due to funny text messages, tweets and comments I randomly receive from loving friends and fans.  I find so much joy in seeing my friends and team mates reach new goals, achieve things they didn’t think they were capable of, and knowing that no matter what, I’ve got a LOT of backup.

Whenever the time comes that I cannot skate, I will not look back at the years I ‘wasted’ on a silly pastime, but relish the memories I’ve made and know that I still have so much to look forward to in the future.

Derby will be a part of my life for better or worse, on or off the skates.

In short, my friends, enjoy the little things in life, whatever they may be.  Pour yourself and all your free time into your hobby, your passion, WHATEVER it is that you LIKE to do!

Don’t fret too much about the big picture.  Please do not define yourself by your employment, or the size of your house or what you have in your bank account. I know I don’t (my value in the universe would drop substantially).

Ask yourself this:  Do you like to laugh? Make your friends laugh? Do you spend your free time enjoying the fuck out of life?  If you are, then in my books you’ve got it made in the shade, you are a SUCCESS, and more people should be like you.

“I have one thing that counts, and that is my heart; it burns in my soul, it aches in my flesh, and it ignites my nerves: that is my love for the people (0f derby) and Perón.”
Eva(da) Perón

Photo courtesy of fellow blogger and graphic goddess Wry N Ginger http://wrynginger.tumblr.com/

Rule #18 – Limber Up

Whether you are entering your first turn on the track or racing away from stumbling and brain starved “walkers”, being warm and limber is an important factor in regards to the longevity of your skating career (or life). 

“snap”

“crack”

“pop”
Whatever sound your body just made, wasn’t a good one, and now your down on the floor, maybe rolling around and writhing in pain, or crawling to the bench, dragging your feet behind you, or like me, hobbling around the track, still trying to catch up to the other jammer (stupid stupid stupid).

Soon enough somebody is handing you a bag of ice and the gear is coming off…or if you are me, you are putting your gear back on and demanding to play one more jam (stupid stupid stupid!). 

Injuries.  They suck.

It happens in derby more often than not, and most likely if you haven’t pulled something, strained something, sprained something or broken something…you probably will.  Is that bad karma? Sorry!

Anyways, though it is difficult to absolutely avoid injuries when playing a contact sport like roller derby, there are a lot of variables that are in your control, and actions you can take to prevent body parts from falling apart sooner rather than later.

Let’s take a look at the lessons I have most recently learned…

1. Limber Up!  Stretch and warm up the muscles you plan to abuse for the next hour or so during a game…give them some lovin’, they will thank you later.
2. Once you feel something “tweak” or pull or move or whatever and it impedes your ability to skate/stand/walk etc, get OFF the track and take OFF your skates. 
3. Once you take off your skates, KEEP YOUR SKATES OFF. Jamming for the remaining 8 minutes of the game is not  worth being on the bench for the next 8 weeks.
4. Get First Aid A.S.A.P.  You are not impressing anybody with how tough you are…seriously.
5. R.I.C.E the shit out of that injury if applicable (Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation).  Start doing this right away (side note: placing a glass of cold beer on your knee while balancing your foot on a bar stool at a strip club will not quite do the same job…stupid).
6. Make a Physiotherapy or Doctor’s appointment.
7. LISTEN to your Physiotherapist or Doctor.
8. Be patient. 

Injuries suck!  Especially ones that keep you from doing the things you love to do.  If you know me, you know I am not very good at sitting and waiting for things to happen.  However, I also am a strong advocate for looking at my glass half full (in the past few weeks half full of liquor…all kinds, apparently, I’m not picky) and finding the silver lining in the clouds.

Having to take off my skates and focus on how my body has been feeling and healing has given me a chance to slow down, really appreciate the passion I have for my sport, and also realize that I need to take better care of myself.

I have definitely realized I need to continue to work on my ‘limbering up’.  I am probably the most inflexible human that has ever walked the earth, and though I used to use this as an excuse to not stretch (Huh? I  know…), I have come to realize that  this is the exact reason I must stretch (duh) and work on the stuff I totally suck at (like touching my toes, or that ‘scorpion’ move…don’t ask). 

Whatever weakness you feel you may have, work on it.  It might be painful, and frustrating and downright fucking annoying, but trust me, it will be worth it (and maybe someday you can do whatever the hell this chick is doing).

Also, though it has been extremely difficult to sit on the sidelines, it has absolutely given me the fire and motivation to work ten million times harder once I lace up my skates again. 

More than ever I am thinking about derby, dreaming about derby, and planning and outlining in my derby starved brain about how much more kick ass I am going to be at derby once I finally get to play derby again!

So for all you out there suffering from long-term injuries, short-term injuries, derby burn out, unrelenting fears of the apocalypse resulting in agoraphobia, or whatever else that might be keeping you from doing what you love, here it is in a nutshell:

Rule #18 – Limber Up: Love every muscle, tendon, ligament, bone in that tight little body of yours, because if you don’t take care of yourself, nobody else will.

Insane graphic credit goes to my fellow blogger and derby love, Wry ‘N’ Ginger from the NWO Rollergirls, check out her blog at: http://cquilty.tumblr.com/